Since I posted the The Problem with Drink back in June something has bugged me, something I didn't feel was quite correct or honest. It was this phrase:
I wasn’t an alcoholic (I would stop for periods when I wanted to)
This leaves me both with and without a problem. I have a problem because I shouldn't, in all honesty, say I'm not an alcoholic as I don't know if I could stop drinking whenever I wanted to. It isn't a problem because not knowing means I have to proceed as if I am an alcoholic. Under tightly controlled conditions (birthday meals, weddings, Christmas etc) I will still allow myself a small glass of wine but that is all. Even this may prove to be too much in the longer term and I'll have to give up alcohol totally; I just don't know.
So, for now, my answer to the question "Are you an alcoholic" has to be "I don't know, I may well be."
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