The Hardest Commandment

Which commandment do you think is the hardest to keep?  Love God? Love your neighbour? 

How about love yourself?

Yes it’s there, slipped in by Jesus at the end of the second greatest commandment.

“Love your neighbour as yourself.”

We all get the “love your neighbour” bit but what about loving yourself?  The problem is that most of us don’t really know ourselves.  We think we do but we don’t really see ourselves as others see us but an idealised version of what we would like to be, not what we are.  If you get past this and begin to find the real you (it took me a breakdown and a lot of counselling to do this) there is a very good chance that you won’t like yourself because your faults start to dominate your thinking.

It is at this point that God tells you to love yourself.  Not because you deserve it but for the simple reason that God loves you – warts and all.

This is not an excuse to stay as you are but rather it is a signpost to keep you moving in the right direction.  God loves you as you are and as you should be; perfect in His image.  Just as we wouldn’t leave someone we love to struggle with something they can’t manage so God doesn’t leave us to just get on with it but comes to us in the person of the Holy Spirit to guide and encourage us in our journey.  This may be directly to you or through the Body of Christ here on earth – the Church.

So don’t forget God commands you to love yourself, not in a selfish way but so you may reflect His glory.

CONFIRMATION

Last Sunday (8^th July 2012) I did something I’d never thought I’d do in the first 56 years of my life – I was confirmed in an Anglican church.  Traditionally confirmation is a service where people who have been baptised as children confirm that they have grown up and accepted that faith as their own but for me it was slightly different so I thought I’d explain why I, having been baptised in a Baptist church in my teens, thought it was right for me.

Firstly I did want to confirm my faith.  A year ago my wife and I moved church from the Baptist church I was carried into as a baby and where I met and married my wife.  You will understand that it was not an easy decision to make but a series of events had made it clear that we could not remain in communion with some of the people there.  The last few years have not been very easy for me in both physical and mental health and being forced out from my birth church had a negative impact on me.  All through this time my faith, although battered, survived and the confirmation service gave me an opportunity to affirm this in public.

Secondly my confirmation was a sign that I had committed myself to that particular part of God’s church; in this case St George The Martyr, Shirley.  This was not the first church we had attended after leaving our home church but, when attempts at reconciliation failed, both my wife and I suddenly felt this was where we were meant to be.  I cannot tell you if we will be there for a short or long time but it is the right place for us for the foreseeable future.

Finally it was also a Thank You to St Georges for making us so welcome and accepting us into membership; more people talk to me after each service than at my old church despite only having a lot less members.  Although we have not joined the choir we have sung with them at special services and they have even been brave enough to let me play guitar in the few services that have a small music group playing.

Climbing A Ladder

On Sunday it rained.  Most of you in southern England will have noticed that but did you notice it blew in from the east and not the west?  I did because when the rain is driven in from that direction the windowsills by the stairs get wet.  This isn't a common occurrence but as I'm in the (very long) process of decorating the hall stairs and landing I had to do something about it.

On close inspection it turned out that when the windows were fitted, as part of the loft conversion work, the pebble dash was brought flush to the wood at the top of the frames instead of overlapping it to prevent water ingress.  Over the years one or both have shrunk leaving a small gap over the window frame; there was also no sign of mastic which didn't help the situation.  This close inspection was done by going up my ladder to both windows; the top one being on the second floor which meant the ladder was on its full extension.

Today I used quick setting cement to build up over the wood frames and then applied mastic over the edge between the wood and cement. It wasn't until I'd finished I realised something odd - I'd just gone up a ladder to a second floor window.  This may not sound odd to you but I suffer from vertigo in buildings (not mountains or cliffs) and going up a ladder that high has always filled me with dread; I'd be clinging on for dear life.

Today it just seemed a natural thing to do so I can only assume that the Prozac I take for my depression has either lessened or cured my vertigo.  This isn't all good news as I used to be very cautious up a ladder and I'm now a bit worried that I may be too relaxed about it.

What's Wrong With British Politics

So here, in the UK, the news is full of politicians sucking up to the press at the same time as the economy is in its worse peacetime condition.  The odd thing is I think the two are connected.

The problem is career politicians; people who have only worked in the political arena and who see their life in terms of how 'successful' their career has been. That means how much power do they wield and power and the press seem to be linked all too closely.  Now I know that is a massive generalisation but it does appear that the top echelons of our major parties have a predominance of these people.  In the past politics was seen as serving the nation but now it's your career.

One of the big problems this leads to is short termism - something that is rife in government.  Apart from the obvious fact that every government is actually working to get re-elected it shows up every time there is a change of minister in a government department. The new minister arrive and wants to make a big impression to further their career and they do this by introducing a lot of new initiatives.  While there is nothing wrong in that in itself it usually means new initiatives and ways are working are rushed in before the initiatives of the previous minister have been allowed to bear fruit or even be fully implemented.  Now it should be the role of the civil service to bring a level of impartiality and continuity to the transition between ministers but, of late, this has been undermined by ministers appointing 'special advisers' who are not civil servants and report directly to the minister.  These advisers are, of course, political careerist who aim is not to look after the country but to further their own political career; paid for by the tax payer.

With ministers (and MPs) surrounded by career politicians all parties have become increasingly out of touch with the life of the average Britain.

I don't have all the answers but how about these fort suggestions of how to make politics relevant to normal people:

• Ban special advisers.  If a minister wants a political assistant it should be paid for by the party and not funded out of tax revenues.
• Set the salary of MPs at the national median wage; currently around £26,000.  There are two reasons for this; firstly to ensure MPs know how the rest have to live and secondly it might discourage people from entering politics for self interest and encourage those who want to serve the country.  I know people will say you need to pay more to get the right people but as that doesn't seem to be working we need to try something different.
• Have a mainly elected upper chamber whose members are elect for 10 year terms to counter the short term objectives of the Commons.

Any comments?

Why I Now Know History Is Important

Many years ago when I was at school (I left in 1972) I used to think history was a waste of time; what mattered was the future and not the past.  Over the years I have changed my mind and realised that it is important to study history for two reasons; to know how we got where we are and to avoid making the same mistakes again.  This second lesson and my days at school came back to me when I read this story:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-17836624

You see I was among one of the first students to take Business Studies 'A' Level and as part of this we did some economics.  Among the things we were taught was that one of the fundamental mistakes made in the Great Depression was for firms, who facing tough trading conditions, to cut wages in order to cut costs.  While they did get a short-term cost cut they also reduced the market for their goods which meant they had to cut production which, due to the fixed cost element, meant their costs per unit increased.  It doesn't take much to realise that this is a vicious circle of wage cuts, sales losses, production cuts wages cuts etc.

In the linked article are a couple of paragraphs that I had feared would happen when all the government cuts were announced:

The ONS said output of the production industries decreased by 0.4%, construction decreased by 3%. Output of the services sector, which includes retail, increased by 0.1%, after falling a month earlier.

It added that a fall in government spending had contributed to the particularly large fall in the construction sector.

Notice that the government cuts have led to a 3% decrease in construction which will in turn mean less government revenue and higher welfare payments which will lead to further cuts/higher taxes, which will in turn push national output down further.  Does anyone spot the similarity?

I know that, as a country, we have been living above our means and the deficit has got to be cut but this  needed to by tackled by greater efficiency and not just cuts.  My time in the Civil Service tells me that successive governments have introduced endless changes to bureaucracy, usually before the last changes have been implemented, as they asked for more and more information to make the 'front line services' prove they are value for money; politicians not trusting anyone to do an honest job unless they 'prove it.'  Given the way politicians behave (MP's expenses etc) it would be better to get the politicians off the front line services back and let them get on with the job.  That way we could have efficient public services, cut costs and be more productive as a country.

The only snag I see with this plan is convincing the politicians that, for reasons of self interest, they don't know how to run a country.

On Getting A Good Night's Sleep

Or

On Missing The Bleedin' Obvious

For the last couple of years I have been tired; I don't mean just yawning a bit but so tired I could hardly function.  I'd wake up tired, I have to sleep in the morning, I'd have a nap in the afternoon and be just about awake for the evening.  Even though I'm retired I didn't have the energy to tackle the backlog of DIY in all round the house and garden - I was too tired to think straight.

I spoke to the GP and she, twice, sent me for blood tests but they didn't show any reason for me being tired.  Given the amount of medication I'm on (for depression, bronchiectasis, asthma etc etc) I began to feel I should just get used to it and to make the most of what energy I'd got left.

And then I saw the light

Literally

It said "updating"

You see in our bedroom we had an old TV with built in video player (yes, that old) and in order to watch DVDs and digital TV we'd bought a DVD/HD Recorder.  Now this wonderful piece of kit can record TV from its programme guide but to do this it has to keep the guide up to date.  Some bright spark had the brilliant idea of getting it to do this at about 4am each day and, just to add to the fun, get it to make little beeping noises while it goes about its work!  Now I'm a light sleeper and so that was enough noise if not to wake me but to disturb me out of a deep sleep.

It was a couple of weeks ago that the penny dropped - it nearly always said  "updating" on the front of the machine when I woke up at night.  First we unplugged it and, when this seemed to help, have replaced it with a basic DVD player to go with the new TV that we'd bought in the meantime.

I now wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and can actually get through the day without sleeping.  All that remains is to work out how to link the DVD/HD Recorder into the system in the living room so that we can record from cable as well.

The moral is the answer can be literally in front of your eyes.

Eli, Eli, lamasabachthani?

For me living with depression is something I have had to get used to; it will always be with me.  Medication is definitely helping but the level of medication needed to eradicate the depression would also kill me as a person - I'd exist in a dulled world.  Of late I have got better at noticing the warning signs and consciously adjusting my  behaviour to prevent a crash.  However there are times when external factors jump up on me giving me no time to adjust and this happened to me the other night.  I am currently fighting off a chest infection with the aid of antibiotics and oral steroids and this and the enforced inactivity won't have helped.  However I was still surprised when I plunged into despair while trying to get to sleep and what I experienced led to the following poem.

Eli, Eli, lamasabachthani?

My God, My God, why have You deserted Me?

I cried in the dark of the night

My God, My God, why have You deserted Me?

As the thick veil of depression enshrouded me

My God, My God, why have You deserted Me?

As hope faded to nothing

And then I was silent

And in the silence a voice spoke

“I thought you’d deserted me.

In your pain and suffering I was always there

Even when the fog descended

But you let go of my hand when you lost sight of me.”

My God, My God, why have I deserted You?